Do you have any rants or raves about THE IRRITANTS? Any essays on why irritation is necessary to the human existence? Any recipes using Spam and Melba Toast? Any old rags today? Drop us a note at the addy above or iffin' you prefer, holler at us by way of our Eat-Your-FACEBOOK page or our MYSPACE-Out page...

Oh, and we feel we should warn you: do not taunt UNCLE WILLIE (right). True, if you poke him and spout that he is only a detached and battered plastic head, he may, beyond our meager control, become unpleasant and verbally abusive.